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Passing Thru..

  • Dec. 14th, 2007 at 10:32 AM


I'm missing you so dearly...

Happy yet sad..

  • Aug. 3rd, 2007 at 10:34 AM

Even though it hurts to see you found someone else, a part of me will always be happy for you.  First, no more monday meetings...haiz, Second, no more friendster,  Thirdly, No love....What have I been limited too? Haiz

To You & Only You.

  • Jul. 28th, 2007 at 12:15 PM

You're way too beautiful girl

Thats why it'll never work

You'll have me suicidal, suicidal

When you say its over

Damn all these beautiful girls

They only want to do your dirt

They'll have you suicidal, suicidal

When they say its over


Now we are fussing and now we are fighting

Please tell me why I'm feeling slighted

And I don't know how to make it better (make it better)

You're dating other guys, you're telling me lies

Oh I can't believe what I'm seeing with my eyes

I'm loosing my mind and I don't think its clever (think its clever)

I want to be there.

  • Jul. 20th, 2007 at 3:45 PM

Crumpler HK: Shop 223, 2/F Silvercord, 30 Canton Road Tsim Sha Tsui, Kowloon.     I wanna go there.

If only I could...

  • Jun. 26th, 2007 at 10:53 PM


If i could change something..I would turn back the hands of time. So I wouldn't see you suffering. Redo all wrong doings. And still be happy with you. If only.........I would. But it's all too late now. Haiz..I'm sorry.......

Monday blues? No way..

  • Jun. 26th, 2007 at 1:56 PM

Spending my mondays with you are never a disaster nor something bad. It's the best thing that ever happened in my life. Been looking forward to every monday even though We didn't go out else where much lately. But I still had fun.A lot of fun. Cooking for you, helping you clean the bed sheet, buying food, following you to the boring library...haha...are just some of the things I've started to enjoy and love. Just doing things with you. Just the two of us, really puts a smile on my face and made my day. For that, thank you Dory. But I just wish for just 1 day we never have to talk or nothing would remind you of him. Not that I'm jealous or anything. It's just hurting to hear it at times. You get what I mean. I'm telling myself to get used to it. I really hope I can. Oh well...

Ring a bell?

  • Jun. 25th, 2007 at 3:06 AM


I can forget about this now. Perhaps this was how it was supposed to be. I'm not emo. I'm just me. Lost. You.

If this is what you wish..

  • Jun. 25th, 2007 at 2:58 AM

"why can't we be like friends? Like REAL friends." "can we not be passionate outside the house?"  all these words haunts me everytime i close my eyes. Aren't you happy with what we are now? Even though it's not right, I still feel comfortable with you around. But since you find it not in favour, and if this is what you wish, no matter how painful it would be, I'll do it. I just want you to be happy again. From today onwards, I'll treat you differently. Don't get the wrong idea though. I wish you know what you're doing.

Crush? Love? Misses?

  • Jun. 25th, 2007 at 2:49 AM

Dead. Lost. Trap. Everything I'm am now, Means nothing to you. Hurt. Sore. Pain. To know you fancy someone else. Crush? Love? Misses?  I'm lost for words. Too pessimistic to the words I hear from you. Down...Down I go. To a spot far, far from your heart.

Why is it this way?

  • Jun. 20th, 2007 at 1:33 PM

I love you so much, but does it have to end this way?  I don't want just to be your friend nor someone you can make use of. Why must you treat me differently from everyone else? I'm not a kid! I don't need your sympathy nor you concern. Why can't we have a mutual understanding? Why must you always put me down? Am I just your toy?

Picnic Trip (11/06/07)

  • Jun. 12th, 2007 at 12:02 PM

Wake up early in the morning, called Michael, Chef at Fabbrica and asked him for further advice on how to cook the the dbl c soup. Not dbl o ya? Corn and Chicken soup. Hah. I was so happy. Cooking for someone I loved so much.  So after that, prepared my "killer" fruit salad dressing. Boy,it was easy. Got the recipe from my grand mom. haha. After doing that, packed some essential stuff. A bottle of Veuve (yellow label), a bottle of San Pellegrieno, flutes, glasses and a towel into the picnic basket I bought from le'organic. It was abit too small though.Haha..it's ok. Just shoved everything in. Carefully of course. Didn't want to break the glass before it was even used. And so, Set off from home. 
Took a cab down to redhill and waited for her,my love. :) hehe.. Left her place at about 3 as we had to clean up Blanca's mess, hmmm..well, she did it alone actually. I'm just claiming credits.haha.. and she took quite a long time to clean up the house. But it was ok. Surprisingly, I could wait 1 and a half hour for her. Anyways, bought some fruits from bukit merah and went straight to sentosa. I was so happy that her mood was still lively and cheerful, even though she was a little tired. 
At sentosa, we walked to palawan beach 7-11 to get some ice and a bottle of mineral water. To chill the Veuve of sparking water of course. Crossed the bridge to the asia's most southern point and decided to settle there. Ate and talked. It was nice. I would say it was rather romantic. Haaahaa.. First course, the egg mayo she asked for. I was supposed to boil the egg, instead, i fried it..haha..Miscommunication. But i was glad,she still liked it. Ate quite alot. haha. 2nd course,  the soup. I didn't know I was so good that the soup tasted like campbell's. According to her. Kind of insulted though.haha. And last but not least, my fruit salad dressed with my "killer" dressing. :p       Veuve and sparking was cold by then,so opened both and drank to the evening away. Really romantic I must  say. I hope she thinks so too. We wanted to for a dip, but soon after we got in the waters, a lifeguard came and asked us to get out of the waters as it was already 7. New rules I guessed. Oh well, so we went to the toilet and got changed to fresh sets of clothes . The only thing in my mind was that little hope of her enjoying herself. :)  She's everything to me now.  My love, my heart, my life and my soul. I just hope she knows that I only love her so much and only her.

Results's out!!

  • Jun. 11th, 2007 at 12:23 AM

I felt like the whole world crashed down on me, as I opened the the huge envelope with my name on it. Heart pumping, Nerve racking, Adrenaline rushing and so  much more. It came to an end. When I saw the results. I failed. I just dropped to the ground and tears roll down my cheek. What was going on? I'm losing everything. 

Remarks: Fail. To be withdrawn.


Haiz...do you know what it feels like?

Why do all good things come to an end?

  • Jun. 8th, 2007 at 11:55 PM

GOD!! Why do you hate me so much? Why? I'm losing everything that is important in my life. First, I lost her...Who I loved so much. Then, My phone..Something I'll feel lost without. Then, there is my job..A hobby that is hard to let go. A good paying one too. HAiz. Then, My school...Something I'd always rely on for comfort from home and work. Lastly, Im losing my granddad...Haiz....WHY?? GOD!! Answer me..WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH!!

Jun. 8th, 2007

  • 1:32 AM


Dogs were whistling a new tune[Error: close lj-embed tag without open tag]

Barking at the new moon

Hoping it would come soon so that they could die


Honestly what will become of me

I don't like reality

It's way too clear to me

But really life is daily

We are what we don't see

We missed everything daydreaming


Flames to dust

Lovers to friends

Why do all good things come to an end


Travelling I always stop at exits

Wondering if I'll stay

Young and restless

Living this way I stress less

I want to pull away when the dream dies

The pain sets it and I don't cry

I only feel gravity and I wonder why


And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day until the feeling went away

And the clouds were dropping and the...

The rain forgot how to bring salvation

The dogs were whistling a new tune barking at the new moon

Hoping it would come soon so that they could die

I Will Remember This Day Forever

  • Jun. 4th, 2007 at 1:13 PM

Woke up at 6am this morning,eagerly hoping to see you. Washed up, brushed my teeth, and thinking of where to take you out today. I was thinking of a picnic at the beach, so I packed all the necessary items & left home. Without breakfast, I felt home. Hoping to eat it with you. On the way there, i decided to get some breakfast & a stalk of a flower for you at redhill market. As I didn't know what you like to eat, I called you. Many times have I tried, but you never answered my call. So i decided to call your home. Only to realise that you didn't went home. I was so worried. Haiz, You went out with him didn't you? He's your everything now huh? I hope he takes care of you. I never want to see you sad. I know I've made you sad and heart broken to a point where saying sorry is never enough. I'm sorry Jan. Your mum was so worried. You should have seen the look on her face. So i waited and waited but no avail, you still didn't come back. Sat by the playground hoping you were there. But I was wrong. You never came. Do you know we were supposed to meet today? I felt so bad. You stood me up. Haiz, I thought it was all just a dream, but it's true. I feel so hurt and stressed. My granddad is so ill at home, yet I more concerned about you. After talking to some people, who prayed for me in public and gave me some advice. I told myself that I should be spending more time with my granddad before it's to late. I wouldn't want to lose him like I've lost you. I've also realised that things between us will never be like before. Coz you hate me to much to love. I'm sorry and I know it's my fault. I never should have treated you so badly then. I truely regret my mistakes. Saying sorry just wouldn't be enough. Haiz, I love you Janice, I'll always will do...But I have to let you go. Because it's killing both me and you on the inside. I just want you to be happy again. I guess this is the only way to do so. Please take care of yourself and keep the promises you made to me last week at your place. I will keep mine. I promise. I really hope you'll be happier now. Cheer up ya? Things happened for a reason. Just like you told me 3 days ago. I'll always remember the time we spent and shared together. I've also learnt some valuble lessons. Thanks dearie. For everything you're done for me. You've changed me. S0 please...Once again, take care of yourself. I'll keep you in my mind and heart always. So goodbye my lover, Goodbye my friend. You have been the one, you have been the one for me. If I'm lucky, I might just see you around. Till then....     
                                                                                                                                                          
                                                                                                                                    LOve you always and deep deep.
                                                                                                                                                your nemo _fish

Turn over a new leaf

  • Jun. 3rd, 2007 at 8:48 PM

Start all over again? If that's really what you want, I will be supportive of it. And start all over we shall. During this time of break, I will try to learn to love myself in order for me to be able to love you better, settle family issues, change to a better person, work hard & understand you deeper. I will prove to you that I've changed. You'll see dearie... I MISS YOU SO...

Karma?

  • Jun. 2nd, 2007 at 8:44 AM

i feel so cheated!! I loved you so much. Is this what I'm supposed to live for? Is this karma? I hate myself. Janice, please....

Jun. 2nd, 2007

  • 8:40 AM

im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry........